The vital importance of touch

By Annie Blampied-Radojčin

During the first year of Covid, I was still working as a chaplain in a hospice, following all the regulations about protective clothing and also protective behaviour, e.g. keeping a physical distance from the patients. Despite wearing gloves, touching a patient was not allowed, in my role as spiritual support.  The patients were only allowed one named visitor. One elderly lady, with a tumour growing in her cheek, did not have either of her sons visiting because one lived abroad and the other was vulnerable with underlying health conditions. So she was even more alone than others on the ward. 

During the weeks I sat with her, the tumour grew aggressively. She was a deeply Christian lady, and each time I saw her, she wanted me to speak the 23^rd Psalm.  This is probably one of the most loved of all the Psalms of David, sacred, both to Christian and Jewish people. 

One of the phrases in the psalm is “thou anointest my head with oil……my cup runneth over” .  The first time I spoke the psalm, at the end she smiled deeply and ran her hands down over her head, and sighing blissfully, she said “the oil is running all over me”. 

There is another line in the psalm:~ “yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou are with me, thy rod and staff they comfort me”…The next week, when I saw her, she was clearly in pain and the tumour had grown.  I spoke the psalm, and at the end, she said to me “this is the darkest vale I have ever walked”. 

On the third week, she opened her mouth so I could see how the tumour had entered the inside the roof of her mouth.  By then, speaking was difficult, and she was in a great deal of pain.   When I offered prayers, she gave a slight nod.  I leant into the comforting words of the 23^rd Psalm. As I got to the verse, “yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”, she turned to me with an inchoate cry.  Lying on her back, her right hand was clutching the bed rail. I was sitting on her right side.  With her left hand she reached across her body towards me and grabbed me.  “I just want someone to hold my hand” she cried.  

The urgency of her suffering as well as her physical pain was immense.  I forgot about the psalm, as I then prayed as if I was her voice talking, all the time, stroking her right arm, still clutching the bed rail, as I held on to her other hand.  I also pressed the bell for the nurse to bring her more pain relief. I stayed with her until she was more relaxed, and waited with her until the pain relief kicked in and she fell asleep.  

I will never forget this patient, and how she taught me the importance of the power of touch, and how she cut through niceties in her authentic cry for what she really needed, which was to be touched and feel held.

‘M’ Technique® ~ a safe and powerful form of gentle touch

Fiona Sim is a guest teacher on the Quietude® training course.  Last year, she introduced ‘M’ Technique® to the students, and showed us a series of simple, rhythmical movements for the hands and feet that have a deeply relaxing effect upon the recipient.  She gave us ample time to practice on each other.   In the intervening weeks before the next module the students were asked to practice at home on friends and family, before returning to go over what they had learnt and be assessed.  In the classroom, during the Covid years, we used PPE.  Not only was it necessary at the time, for health and safety, but it also gave the students the experience of what maybe required if they were to volunteer in a health care setting. At home, of course, they could experience the power of touch, without gloves, apron and mask! 

Here are some photos of the students practicing, in 2021, followed by an extract from one student’s case study. 

For each treatment I would light a candle as a way of honouring the space and then ask if there was anything I needed to know about before starting the treatment, allergies, pain and feedback from the week before. I would prepare the towels and oil and ask my client to get comfortable. I would then start with the hands and move down to the feet

For the first few sessions I used a basic almond carrier oil and mixed it with a few drops of arnica oil as J felt still a little tender from a fall. On the third week I mixed a blend of frankincense, myrrh and rose cream to the oil to help with the very slight inflammation that J was suffering from. J also mentioned that she really resonated with these resins and rose has a soothing and therapeutic effect when applied to the skin.

The treatment was received with absolute openness, and I felt she really trusted me. Initially J was quite chatty, perhaps this came from a little nervousness, some people are uncomfortable with silence however after just a few minutes I observed J’s breathing slow down and could feel the weight of her hand and arm get heavier. J stopped talking, closed her eyes and simply surrendered to my touch. I could see that J was familiar to touch and as a result really trusted the process albeit new to her. The treatments I gave her strengthened over time as I became more confident in my practice and could discern better my pressure and speed. It really entered the habit life for both of us and became more and more familiar each time. J was always very appreciative of the treatment and said it helped her to relax and sleep better. 

I really looked forward to these sessions and even though it was mid-week, and I was tired from my working day, I was struck by how energised and refreshed I was during and after the treatment. There is something about being present with another that really brings you in to the here and now. My mind also slowed down due to the pace I was working at, and I received so much from the giving. The treatment achieved a sense of well being and support for and from each other. I could empathise with my client and felt quite privileged to be able to respond and be in service to another through such a simple but profound technique.